11 reviews by George Lucas..
Star Wars

2006-09-27
From: George Lucas
Comments: Fans I am back and the force is with me! I have always believed in continuing changes and alterations to Star Wars to update and improve it. Let me share with you a new idea which will be incorporated on upcoming DVD releases. First, consider how much time the average person spends of his life on the toilet, yet this is never shown in most films, certainly not as character development. Well I propose to be a pioneer of realism, and will add an explicit scene to Star Wars to demonstrate the "dark side" of Darth Vader. You see, friends, I envision Vader filling a full toilet bowl with large bowel movements and clumps of toilet paper, to the point of stopping it up and causing it to overflow. Surely it is a universal human experience to have once walked into a public toilet which has been stopped up and desecrated in this fashion by some evil villain. Well, this scene puts a face on this archetypal villain for the audience: DARTH VADER!

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Star Wars

2005-05-13
From: George Lucas
Comments: I'm glad to see a lot of excitement and enthusiasm for this new Star Wars game on this web site! As the final installment of this saga is about to be released, I thought I would provide some teasers, to appease the clamoring of you devoted fans! First, expect Jar Jar Binks to take on a major, major role which you may not have anticipated! I am aware that some regard Jar Jar as an intergalactic "Step'n Fetchit". Well I've decided to give him a considerably enlarged role, to be balanced by an intergalactic "Kingfish" type, based on the old Amos and Andy program. This Kingfish character will be played by me. Also, many may recall that Queen Amidala's accent was probably the worst fake British accent of all time. This was actually clever acting by Ms. Portman who anticipated the exposure of this character as a total fraud. Expect something like the revelation scene between Luke and Vader, except with Amidala (and Chewbacca's grandfather perhaps?), although I won't spoil it for all of you devotees who've waiting in line for a weeks to see it! May the force be with you all!

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Star Wars

2005-05-13
From: George Lucas
Comments: I'm glad to see a lot of excitement and enthusiasm for this new Star Wars game on this web site! As the final installment of this saga is about to be released, I thought I would provide some teasers, to appease the clamoring of you devoted fans! First, expect Jar Jar Binks to take on a major, major role which you may not have anticipated! I am aware that some regard Jar Jar as an intergalactic "Step'n Fetchit". Well I've decided to give him a considerably enlarged role, to be balanced by an intergalactic "Kingfish" type, based on the old Amos and Andy program. This Kingfish character will be played by me. Also, many may recall that Queen Amidala's accent was probably the worst fake British accent of all time. This was actually clever acting by Ms. Portman who anticipated the exposure of this character as a total fraud. Expect something like the revelation scene between Luke and Vader, except with Amidala (and Chewbacca's grandfather perhaps?), although I won't spoil it for all of you devotees who've waiting in line for a weeks to see it! May the force be with you all!

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Star Wars

2005-05-13
From: George Lucas
Comments: It has just come to my attention that clones, pretending to be me, have been posting comments on this site. Fortunately, I agree with most of their comments, except cynical comments about my beard and weak chin! These are really low blows! I have a team of hairstylists on call 24/7 to make sure my paste-on beard artfully disguises my lack of a chin and that a new, *fresh* toupe is properly fitted every day. I pay these individuals large amounts of money, so attacks on my *personal* hairstyle are not well received.

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Star Wars

2005-05-13
From: George Lucas
Comments: Another quick post! In answer to your queries, yes, there will be explicit defecation scenes in episode III. I don't want to give away too much, but remember my earlier teaser about the revelation of Amidala as Chewbacca's father. All this and more will be incorporated into the new version of the video game ASAP! May the force be with you!

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Star Wars

2003-06-06
From: George Lucas
Comments: This site has really gone downhill fast in recent months. I remember a time when my fans and fans of this wonderful, ground-breaking game could come here and post their comments and feelings in a friendly environment free from the bullies that torment their every waking hour. But now? This site has become a haven for those that attack eachother and attack me, the great George Lucas. That would be bad enough, but to attack the Star Wars saga itself? That is the basest sacrilege that I could ever think of. The nerds, dorks, dweebs, and perpetual virgins of the world have made me what I am today and it saddens me to see this once great refuge of theirs destroyed by hateful people. Also, I used to pick up a lot of young boys from this site. Believe you me, I showed them a hell of time here at Skywalker Ranch once they provided me with an e-mail address. All they had to do was take off on their parents, get a ride to the airport and their ticket was there at the counter waiting for them. It's a lot harder scaring up tail now that this site has been debauched. Oh well, I guess I better get back to work. Right now I'm reading the Dune series to see if there is anything else I can rip off from the late Frank Herbert. There's got to be more where Tatooine came from! Am I right? Remember, my kindly nerd followers, the George Lucas lifestyle does not come cheap. You must go and buy all of the Star Wars movies on DVD and any other merchandise you can lay your pale, disposable income laden hands on. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

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Star Wars

2003-06-01
From: George Lucas
Comments: I must confess that I, the great George Lucas, am the original imposter that has plagued this wonderful tract of pristine nerd habitat. In fact, it's the first original thing that I have ever done. My whole career is based on ripping off other people and making up stupid sounding, nonsensical names for things. If you think about it, though, all I really did was take someone else's name and write stuff to make them seem like some awful person or jabbering idiot. I just I haven't really changed at all. Once a thief, always a thief. I NOW COMMAND YOU GULLIBLE NERDS TO GO AND BUY "ATTACK OF THE CLONES" AND "PHANTOM MENACE" ON DVD. GO NOW! I AM USING THE FORCE ON YOU! YOU CANNOT RESIST MY AWESOME POWER! GO NERDS, GO! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED! Damn! There I go again, stealing other people's shit! I am truly a monster. I must go now and roll around on a huge pile of money and pull myself off! One more thing, if you horrid nerds ever hear that I am under investigation for child pornography, just remember that I'm doing research for a book. They call me the seeker.

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Star Wars

2003-05-10
From: George Lucas
Comments: I'm sick of people insulting me and posting messages in my name. Please, show some class. Also, I'm gay and love the feel of a young boy's body against my naked flesh.

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Star Wars

2003-05-08
From: George Lucas
Comments: Guess what. I'm still a thieving piece of shit.

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Star Wars

2003-05-05
From: George Lucas
Comments: No, it's true, I am a worthless piece of shit. I also molest children. Great game, though. Please keep buying all the inane garbage I ceaselessly churn out for you gullible morons. The dumber you are, the richer I get.

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Alex Kidd in Shinobi World

2003-01-25
From: George Lucas
Comments: Look out for "Alex Kidd the Movie" summer 2005

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